Posted by: Nathan | March 7, 2006

Brief Oscar Recap

I’ve already written about the Academy Awards, so I’ll keep my recapitulation brief.

1. Jon Stewart stole the night. He handled everything, keep politics to the monologue, made fun of the stars, had refreshing irreverance, and was hilarious. That said, he’ll never host again.

2. I didn’t see any of the Best Picture nominees, but I’m not surprised that many are crying “homophobia” because Brokeback didn’t take home the picture Oscar. As soon as it was nominated, it was obvious that if it won, it would’ve been one of those classic Hollywood “we know what’s good for this country” moments; if it didn’t win, homophobia would be the ONLY LOGICAL CAUSE. Pathetic.

3. Reese Witherspoon was great in Walk the Line, which was a decent movie. I’m pleased that she won best actress.

4. What was with all the montages? Sure, there were the usual “Here’s who died last year” and Lifetime Achievement montages, but there were many random compiled film clips of classic movie moments. It complemented the annoying theme of how evil DVDs are: “You can’t possibly enjoy a movie on a teeny-weeny screen with speakers only in front of you!! You MUST go see the movies IN THE THEATER ONLY!!!! We’re losing money here! We’re friggin’ HOLLYWOOD for gosh sakes! Don’t cross us!” The montages seemed to say, “We make all the great moments. Now pay up at the theaters, you annoying plebians.”

5. How could anyone in any situation ever reward such filth as Three 6 Mafia’s atrocious “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp”? I admit that Dolly Parton’s song wasn’t great; however, “In the Deep” from Crash is 100 times the song that “Pimp” is, if one can call it a song. It’s hard to be a pimp, eh? Maybe, you should try…oh I don’t know…a job wherein you don’t sell women’s bodies for sex? Get out of the organized crime business? Apply for a normal job? It’s not that I don’t feel sorry for pimps and other people whose lives are ruined by the street; I do. I just feel pity for who they are, not sympathy for what they do. That song is and will remain garbage. However, it was almost worth it to hear Stewart’s remark after the reward: “I think it just got easier out here for a pimp.”

6. I don’t care about fashion, but I applaud the conservative dresses this year on most of the ladies. Props.

7. Perhaps the most obvious example of Agenda was George Clooney’s acceptance speech. The gist was, “I’m proud to be a part of this academy that dicates America’s morality. We decide what’s right and wrong. First it was race, then AIDS, and now whatever we want.” Whatever, George. Thank your friends and family and sit down.

All told, it wasn’t unenjoyable. Still, no Oscars compare to the Return of the King sweep year.


  1. Indeed no Oscars compare to the Return of the King sweep year. I wonder if future generations will deride us for that belief, or simply agree.

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