Quick-hitting Food Reviews

Easy-Out? My Aunt Fanny!

I recently tried Hellmann’s new “Easy-Out” mayonnaise bottle, and I was extremely disappointed. I had high hopes when I snatched the bottle off the shelf at Super Target. I had seen the commercials with those folks working to get the last of the mayo out of the bottom of jar and struggling like it was as hard as giving birth while doing geometry, and I could relate to them…a little. Plus, who likes to dirty a knife every time you want mayo? I hoped that “Easy-Out” would be my mayonnaise salvation.

But it was not to be. Sure, it worked just fine for the majority of the time I used it, but all squeeze bottles work when there’s plenty o’ mayo in the container. When it was all but gone, however, it did not come out easily. Brrrmmp! Additionally, I noticed that the squeeze bottle gave me significantly less control over the mayo flow, so I was unintentionally consuming more calories than I wanted to. Do yourself a favor and buy Helmann’s mayo in the plastic, fairly wide-mouthed jar. You’ve got to use a knife, but better that than spending more money to get fat and lazy on a product that isn’t any better than its competitors.

Bread Does Matter After All

It wasn’t too long ago that I did not care what kind of bread I filled with meat and cheese or peanut butter and jelly. I thought that what counts with a sandwich was only what fits between the slices, not the slices themselves. All that changed when J introduced me to Pepperidge Farms’ Crunchy Oat bread.

The bread isn’t crunchy, but despite the misnomer, it’s fantastic bread. Soft but thick enough to really bite into with a slight bit of sweetness. It’s equally good as toast or sandwich fixings, and everything tastes good with it. If you haven’t tried it, I’d encourage you do so. It costs a little extra, but as Lexus condescendingly notes, “Some things are worth the price.” I’d say the Lexuses aren’t, but the bread is.

Coffee-Mate Update

When last I wrote about Coffee’s Perfect Mate, I hadn’t tasted Vanilla Caramel. This weekend, I was fortunate enough to procure some, and I’m most happy that I did. It’s excellent. It sweetens the coffee without overpowering it, and it doesn’t leave me thirsty, which was fantastic indeed. I always have to nitpick, and I wish it was just caramel instead of vanilla caramel because it’s the caramel that really makes it tasty, but it’s definitely my newfound second favorite, edging Coconut Crème by .2 points at a 9/10 and a low A.