Posted by: Nathan | October 8, 2006

Adios, Black Bart

Once again, the evil New York Yankees have fallen short of their bid to buy…umm, I mean win another World Series. Sure, it’s sad that my team is so terrible that the only joy I get out of baseball is watching another team lose, but there’s just something so magical about seeing the Yanks go down. I think it’s the shocked look on the players’ faces* that says it all: “We’re the Yankees. We’re supposed to win!”

Why do I hate the Yankees so much?

1. They always win. 26 World Series titles, and a run of them in the 90’s.

2. They win by purchasing their talent. Yes, every team needs great players, and great players cost a lot of money, but the Yankees have a payroll over $200 million dollars — way more than any other team.

3. It’s my duty. If you’re not born in or around New York, it’s your duty to hate the Yankees or at least not care about them.

4. All the hype. All year, every year New York is the #1 storyline in baseball on SportsCenter. SHUT UP about them already! Next spring, you know it’ll be the same thing: “Joe Torre, your team hasn’t won a championship in 6 years! What’s wrong?!” Too bad there aren’t more reporters asking Cubs management the same question.

Major DAP to the Tigers** for out-pitching and out-hitting “the best team in baseball.” Oh, I thought the best team was the team that won the title! Shows what I know. Of course, it was delightful to see “the best lineup ever assembled” get shut out in game three and manage only three runs in the last game. Overall run total for the series: Tigers 22, Yankees 10. Aw, SLAM!!!

*My all time favorite example is when the Diamondbacks beat the Yanks in the bottom of the 9th in 2001. Derek Jeter’s face was just priceless. I wish I had it framed.

**Who dey?



  1. I’m pumped that my prediction regarding the World Series winner was dead wrong. I don’t really know who to root for now, but it’s going to be the team coming out of the AL…the Cards and Mets are boring…so I’m going to choose..the A’s. I guess I should be cheering for the Yankee killers, though…who are you going for?

  2. I fully expect a post like this when the Patriots get knocked down. I’ve come to depend on your articulate beatdowns of the high and mighty. Just as long as you don’t provide an articulate beatdown of The High and Mighty, I think you’ll be a-okay. Hopefully your team will be better…next year.

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