Posted by: Nathan | August 9, 2010

How Much is the Googly-Eyed Geico Money?

If you live in the U.S. and watch a modicum of television, there is little doubt that you’ve seen at least one Geico commercial featuring the googly-eyed stack of bills that represents “the money you could be saving with Geico.” This goofy character shows up in random spots such as rooftops and bridges of ships. The Money attracts people’s attention using a variety of methods, including staring at people in restaurants, interrupting meetings, and following people on back roads. Truly, this Money is persistent, though I wonder how many people would get away with all of the crap he pulls.

How much are you really?

Sure, he’s a likable character, I suppose (it’s the googly eyes–they’re irresistible!), but this Money fellow raises many questions. How does he get around? He doesn’t have legs, arms, or any other obvious means of locomotion, yet he is ubiquitous. A second and related question is how does he manage to travel so far? If he can’t propel himself, does he hitch rides on planes and cars? How does he afford all this travel? Does he spend himself? If so, does that mean you get less money if you sign up with Geico? Also, what is the Money’s incentive? Surely he cannot want to get paid–he is money. Does he crave human attention? Is he lonely? Is he dangerous? How does he get into places where he isn’t expected?

Blue = $100

Yes, the questions surrounding this pile of bills are many and complex, but on a more pragmatic level one question is paramount: how much money is the Money? It is apparent that he goes to great lengths to disguise his actual worth. What do I mean? Well, let’s start with straps. The Money is stacked two bundles high, and both bundles are held together with white and blue straps. Anyone who has experience with currency straps knows that blue straps are for $100 bundles. Blue straps usually are used for piles of one dollar bills; thus, it would seem that the Money is $200 plus two eyes.

But hold on there, my friend. He’s too thin to be made of 100 one-dollar bills. In addition to this fact, there is a further, more intriguing element: the bill on top of him is a five! Perhaps, then, we are to think that the Money is $200 worth of fives? Nay, I tell you, for straps of fives that are $100 are much thinner than the Money is. And lest you think he is made of a strap of fives, which is worth $500, you should know that $500 straps are red.

So what are we to think, then? What is Geico telling us about the money we could be saving with them? It seems to me that two possibilities remain: 1) the Money consists of $200 in some ungodly mish mash of bills; 2) the Money wears his straps like a mask, and there is no way to know for sure how much cash you and I can save by switching to Geico. Given that Geico, like all insurance companies, doesn’t want to promise savings it cannot deliver, it seems most likely that option two is the right one.

Money, I call for you to reveal yourself as you are. Unstrap yourself and lay yourself bare for the world to see. It is the only way for us to truly understand you. Do it for the American people, but, more than that, do it for yourself. It is only by looking within ourselves that we can understand our real value.

Failing that, the next time any of you see the Money taunting, following, or otherwise bothering you just to make his presence known, grab him, tear off his blue straps, and count him.

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Responses

  1. My dear nephew, you have way too much time to think on your hands:) It is a good thing you have a child on the way to take up some of your mental energy. I do agree with your conclusion though, we can’t know how much cash is in that pile and Geico wouldn’t want to commit to a dollar amount that they will save you. Good thinking!

  2. Rob at Cockeyed.com made a Geico money costume for Halloween (his other costumes are pretty good too):
    http://www.cockeyed.com/incredible/2009/box01.shtml

    I wondered about the bands and $5 too.

  3. When it comes to any kind of insurance, it pays to be very selective. When it comes to both Auto and Home Insurance, I have usually gone through an independent agent who represents at least 10-15 different companies. All the major companies such as Allstate, State Farm, Progressive, Geico, etc. will all claim to save the average customer x amount of dollars if they switch. My independent insurance agent ran a spreadsheet which included all of the major companies out there, excluding Geico. His choice for me which included high quality companies with lower rates was the Celina Group of insurance companies, namely the National Mutual Insurance Company located in Ohio. After looking at the different rates on the spreadsheet, I am confident that Geico could not beat their rates either. The same thing goes for Life Insurance rates as I went through Select Quote in order to find low cost Term Life insurance, as they represent about a dozen or so high quality companies. It really pays to shop for any type of insurance.

  4. Wow, Jerry’s quite the party killer.

    An excellent analysis on your part! I was a little surprised that the Money only had a $5 on top…it seems that Geico isn’t as confident as they seem about saving new customers money. A $20 would be much bolder.

  5. Obviously, he travels by teleportation.


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